All i have to say is that things are so weird right now. On one hand i want to be really pissed at Erin cause she broke a promise to me. Then of course i'm also pissed at Dennis but i haven't talked w/ him yet. But most of all i'm pissed at anton for not expecting me to find new people. It's not like i was intentionally looking for a new boyfriend, i was put into these situations, and yes i didn't back away from them. Now....anton has called me everything from a bitch to a whore (real mature considering i'm not) but not once does he take the time to realize that he's been lying to me too. He says he doesn't want another girlfriend and when i was upset that he was hanging around erin so much he told me not to worry and all that stuff. Well ok now i found out that i was right all along, so what does that make him now? a hypocrite? yeah...that word he called me a thousand times but never once thought of himself as one? It pisses me off to no end that he can get so pissed at me still when we are fucking broken up. And the fact that he says that he's the only one who makes any effort...bullshit. I make just as much effort as him and at least i can be cheery around him. He always sounds mad or awkward. He's been telling me about all the chicks and parties in his room at night and i haven't cared (even tho i think he exaggerates it a lil) but either way i don't care. Even when erin told me how he asked her out and has been.."putting moves" on her i didn't care too much. I mean of course i do cuz of the fact that we were so close, but we made the agreement that if we found someone new then we wouldn't interfere. He asked me about finding someone new and i was like if you really like her then go ahead...which brings me to another thing. Anton you can go out w/ erin if want but if you are just using her or if you cheat on her seeing how we're both in diff. schools i will never speak to you again. It's bad enough how you have been hurting me (during and after our relationship) but if i have to see her going through that too then i can't help but see you as the King asshole.

Another thing now. Lay off of Rich and Jeff. I haven't had sex with either one of them and that reason is because of God. I can't believe you have that little trust in me to make my own decisions.

BUT Even though I'm incredibly pissed off at you right now I still want to be your friend. Oh so long ago we said that if we ever broke up we still wanted to be friends. I don't know why you had to be so rude to me since we broke up. If you were only a tiny bit as calm as i was maybe it would be easier. You have been acting like i'm so evil ever since and that is not the way to make someone want to open up to you again. We've had a good time so far in college so why do we have to mess it up cuz i met a new people. you have too

In other news I love a lot about college. The freedom and the all the new ppl. I miss everyone else a lot too and hopefully i'll be coming home soon..prolly jaimers bday so that'll be when.