Well yestereday was quite a day. I guess i should really start this from saturday night when w/e controvercy this is started.
Saturday:
All day i worked w/ my good friend Kirsli. By the end of the day we were discussing our plans for the night. I said i didn't really have anything to do except i might have dropped by vivs for (what turned out to be) her AZN party. Kirsli said she had nothing to do so i was like, well if you want we can do something. She asked me to go to a movie and i was like sure why not. Then we invited our other coworkers to make it a bok outing. I did wanna visit viv, but i knew i'd be seeing her the next day so i didn't think it was that big of a deal. Anyways...so at 9:45 pirates of the caribean was in the upstairs theater so we're like, awesome! It just happened to be one of the only good movies playing so we picked that one. Anton, i'm sorry i didn't see it w/ you...my dad was mad i saw it w/o him too.
Anton i know you just asked to see a movie last week...but i literally had no money then and i wasn't in the mood either. It just so happened we decided to see a movie on saturday. You know it has nothing against you ever. I still wanna see seabiscuit w/ you, and bruce almighty. I'll even see POTC w/ you if you want cuz i liked the movie. I wish you wouldn't say F me cuz i don't do these things to hurt you. I have been trying to talk to you whenever we are together. I call you too. I don't know what else you are looking for right now...you've been doing things w/o me too. Would you like me to say that the love of your life is now dennis? or erin? or viv? you hang out w/ them a lot lately too but i don't care. You know i'm here still. I'm not forgetting about you either and i don't plan on it. How many times must i say it?
Ugh i'm sorry for writing so much on here about this but i guess everyone see's antons side more than mine lately...
So anton, just so you know- I care for you. I don't like seeing you in this state and i know i caused it. But if we can just break this silence that's inbetween us right now i think we'd both feel a lot better.

Another thing. It's been brought to my attention tonight that a lot of my friends have been very worried about what me, erin and tyke did that night. Look. I'm not stupid. I had full control over what i was doing, and truly none of us needed to drink to have fun that night, and the fun we had didn't really spin off of the small amount that we drank. No one was drunk, no one was hurt, nothing bad was said. The three of us have been best friends since elementary school and we look out for each other. Plus I am glad to know we have friends that care so much as to be worried about us. Thank you for that, but trust me I'm not looking to become an alcoholic, and i have more control over my life then to hand it over to alcohol...especially now that i have become closer to Jesus it's hard to just say..."hey i'm gonna screw that over and become a drunk" no. you should all know me better than that. But once again, i appreciate the concern, just don't get mad at me for something as small as what happened that night. No one needs to respond to this. I've already heard that you just can't help but see it as a stupid idea, but i can't change what we did that night to make you happy. Just know that I understand, but hopefully you guys can understand me (and us) a little too.

So what else now. Dennis, Viv and I went to liquid tonight. It was a little strange...i guess the "THANKYOU JESUS!!!" man added to that (well caused haha) but i'd go back i spose. I guess i have to see Pastor Tim that everyone tells me is so great :) But i got the newcomers bag which was cool...cept i was in a room of canadians which was weird...dunno why. I think they were there cuz of the power outages, then the lady was like, "so i guess you had another reason to come down this way" and they go "no! just liquid!!" I think they were kidding, but they never gave a real reason so w/e.

so anyways. Tomorrow is the two part episode of the christmas saved by the bell. I can't wait- it's so pathetic. Then we all go to antons for the sleepover/goodbye party. It'll be sad cuz i might not be seein viv after the party is over.
btw...

Viv- I am going to miss you mucho!!! Ever since frosh year at ur fridays b-day party we've been pretty good friends. This year/summer has been really good to us and I'm gonna miss chattin w/ ya. I will miss ur confused face, your brownie cookies, and your all around good-heartedness. I know you really aren't looking fwd to college, but I hope we stay in contact so you can keep me in line and help each other throughout the good and bad times. Even tho if you ever run the mile again i won't be there to pull you physically...but if you think of the mile as LIFE i can help "pull" you through that. Ooooh metaphoric...ya like that doncha? haha don't worry cuz things will be ok...cuz- u know u can (u know u can) be what chu wanna be (be what chu wanna be) if u work hard at it (if u work hard at it) u'll be where ya wanna be (u'll be where ya wanna be) :-p haha i luv ya, KIT as often as possible!!!

Ok well i think i just wrote a book there...i guess that's what happens when you wait two days to write. I just wanna say that i'm sorry to anyone i've offended w/o knowing these last few days. I don't know how or why exactly i did but i guess ppl are upset w/ how i deal w/ things. So...sorry, please forgive me for whatever i've done to you. If you want to talk to me you know you can always call me or email me and i will talk about whatever is bothering you.

Oh yeah, Phil, welcome to the blogger. You will be addicted quite soon. At least we can be reminded about going to NY for Christmas break cuz i know ur so excited. To tell the truth, I am too. I think it'll be fun.

Aight...that should be all fer now...as viv just told me :
vsace27: but seriously.. why are my blogs so ridiculously long? it's like i don't control how much i write
exactly. so then i guess it's time to