Ok so technically this is two posts in one day...but i figured the one below is all like facts and stuff about what my last two weeks have been like. Now i kinda just feel like writing a post to express thoughts and shiiit like that. So....herre goes

Religion. Time to be honost. I wish I was a better Christian. I think I truly have a problem with overzealous people, and so I end up hiding my own love and appreciation for God in public...which in turn transfers into my personal life and thats even worse. Back in school, I bought The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. I didn't begin to read it until i got home from school. When i started it, there were all these like, rules. First of all u are only supposed to read one chapter a day, so it's like a 40 day transformation. Problem number one...cuz i can't commit to things like that. I love to read, but i'm horrible at sitting myself down to go and read. True, the chapters are all like, 5 pages long the most, and it's not hard at all...but i slacked off around day 10 cuz i couldn't find the book. Then i got used to not reading it and i'm now kinda stuck at not picking up the book since then. However, I did find some of the book a little discouraging and I had some problems with it..but i was gonna stick w/ it. Oh well for that. I actually talked to my aunt Liz about that. It's funny cuz i wasn't going to tell her at first that I didn't finish reading it, but then she told me she started and stopped at like chapter 3. I then didn't feel so bad haha. But still...I dunno i should really start reading more of the Bible and educating myself because I think the Bible and it's lessons are really great, not to mention I love having the feeling that I'm pleasing God. I know a good portion of my life I probably haven't...so when I do something that I think pleases God, I feel 100 times better than normal. The problem is I suck at pleasing God cuz I can't commit. Well...I guess I shouldn't say that I can't commmit totally, because I do believe Jesus is real and is my personal savior, but I KNOW i haven't turned to him when I know i should, and i haven't been fulfilling the duties of a devoted Christian...siiigh. This summer was supposed to be about Him too...and now what have i done. Another broken promise. :(

Anyway...off of that semi-depressing matter. Theres a lot more too that subject and if I went into it, we'd all be here for a very long time.

Today I almost cried cuz of happiness....My dad said I will get a car!! He's going to take out a loan (hopefully as close to 10,000 as he can) and then I will put down 1,000 on a car and pay the rest off for like, the rest of my life lol. But it's ok, I plan on working and stuff so I will be able to make the payments....haha I better hope I can control myself w/ going to shows lol. I'll have to make a budget and all that jazz. :) But yeah...I dunno what kind of car i want yet, I won't start looking till he gets the loan and I know how much I can go for. But w/ a little luck, I'll have a car by the beginning of August....and how super exciting is that??? I'm looooving it! :o)

Hmm what else. Lets talk about Matty. I haven't seen him in...10 days. Stupid Long Island. Just kidding. I had mucho fun out there. And i <3 Rebecca so it's great to see her. But i also love my matty so....hmm. He is coming to F-town on Friday. Then we'll be going out to dinner w/ pplz...anyone wanna go to dinner on friday for my bday? Call me or leave a comment on here :o) Oh yeah, but back to Matty....I'm really really happy w/ him. We have so much in common...except for the fact that he might sell me for a car one day down the road....lol jk.
Ode to Matty D (even tho there is no structure) Just in case he wants to know why I like him....

He's so sweet, funny, and just an all around really likeable person.
My mom i think wants to marry him...=:-o
I think he's got a good future ahead of him
....so what else could u really want in a boyfriend? haha..
He's cuddly! Which is theee best. I can't resist a good cuddle. :)
He's so ridiculous like that. (sorry i'm listening to Matchbook Romance)
We like so swing and get caught in rainstorms. ~~-*
We like to get fish and name them Martha and Meatball
...then decide we should change their names
...but never actually do it.
I <3 him.


So yeah...thats my freestylin. haha. i guess? I'm tired I think. And it's just 11:00. I got really cool warped tour shoes. I guess that means i should get my ticket for it too. Yeah i'll get around to it.

*Rich come to Flemington dammit. And that's an order or else i'm gonna drop you from my record label!

Ok im done. peace outtt

mood: anxious
music: Matchbook Romance....um the entire CD.