So last night i finished The Case for Christ I could've finished it much earlier cuz it's so good but i always wanted to read it when i had time to really concentrate on it and that time was never found. But I'm glad I finished it cuz it was so awesome. Everything Lee Strobel writes in there is so true. It's a really great book for everyone to read, believer or not, cuz it deals w/ just that concept...to believe or not. I think i will get a copy of it for myself and possibly the regular version of it (cuz this was just the student edition) cuz i'd like to always have it.

So today I got up pretty late. I usually get up around 10 (hey that's not late) so i have a few hours before SBTB to situate myself and wake up. But today my alarm didn't go off (yeah...i need an alarm to get up at 10) so i woke up at a quarter to 12. But then i got ready and by 1:30 my mom and i were gonna go to Linens and things. So i turn on my cell to see if i have any messages and i have one from meli saying that we were all goin to perkins to eat lunch...at 1:30! i was like aghhh why now! but i wanted to go and my mom said it was ok as long as we went shopping right after. It worked out anyways cuz after lunch me and meli went to shoprite and the Linens and things (where we met my mom) and i got a lot of stuff and we just used meli's car to bring it home (otherwise we woulda had to get all that stuff tonight...and there wouldn't have been enough time to do much else prolly) So yeah...I got yaffa blocks, a desk lamp, shower shoes, a shower caddy, mini ironing board, pillows, message board, laundry basket..anything else? i dun't remember. but then tonight i went to wal mart and got more...like a whole bed in a bag and just a bunch of little things like shampoo and notebooks and w/e else. I still need an alarm clock and w/e but i think my dad is taking me to BJ's tomorrow..they have nice ones there usually so i'll prolly get it there. It's so good to finally have this stuff out of the way. I didn't know when i was gonna start shopping.

O yeah...we went back to L&T tonight and i saw Christie Kwasnieski there. It was nice to see her cuz i haven't seen her all summer. She is leaving on saturday for Montclair so that's cool...i should prolly send out an email to her and other ppl giving out my contact information...but haha i don't know it yet. Once i do i'll send it out to everyone tho don't u worry.

So that was basically it today...mucho shopping and then seeing everyone (that's left) for lunch. Meli will be gone tomorrow :( then next will be tyke...i have to freaking see her soon lol...tomorrow jaime and i plan to see the guard so i dunno when. she could drive me there! haha i'm smart. Ok I'm gonna go chill downstairs now until i get distracted by...anything? ok that made sense. W/e ohh yeah...i'm sorry i couldn't go to dennis' last night. My mom did not think it wise of me to go...i dunno why. But i think he wants ppl over on thursday too so i will have to go then after work. ohhh but no car. oh well i'll find a way. i always find a way. haha jk.

~~I don't wanna come back down from this cloud~~

just a few words...then i'm gonna read.

So i took this quiz cuz i have been reading some astrology stuff today and when i went to take jaimes princess quiz (i was ariel by the way) I came across this one and decided to take it. Aaand since i liked it better i decided to put this one on. So that's my reasoning yo'.

In other news...I have lots to do this week. Shopping. Going to bestbuy/the mall w/ meli, visiting the guard w/ jaimers (cuz we're losers like that), lunch w/ tyke, sleepover at kirsli's, chill w/ anton...hopefully see dennis too cuz i haven't since last tuesday...and then packing too. It's just goin too fast. Oh well...I am just really happy anyways. All day i was in a daze and i liked it. Of course...there are things in my life that could be better, but i'm just not sweating it as much as i once would. I feel content and excited for what this coming year will bring. I know it's gonna be good w/e it is. I just have that feeling ya know? Well anywayz i don't have much else to say now...so i'm gonna go read. Take luck.

ps- once again i know the links don't work. HOPEFULLY i'll be getting a new one soon tho :-p so in the meantime, the inbetween time, keep ur pants on...

shit.

Ok that was because i just wrote a whole bunch of stuff and my cell phone fell onto the keyboard and pressed just the right buttons to make it all disappear. So thankyou cell phone for being a giant asshole this weekend.

Lets start anew. Let's start with friday night actually cuz that's when all da fun started.

So friday night lucky and tyke came over for our "gooooodbye lucky" get together. We went to Dominicks pizza so tyke and i could get dinner, then to wald drugs, then to 7-11 and then back to my house to watch some friday night standup. It was fun...a little boring at times cuz for some reason we were all really tired. But 11:30 mitch hedberg came on and i was happy. Of course Rich decided to call during that one...but he had some big news and i had to talk to him about it. I felt bad cuz it was the last time i'd see lucky for a while...but we'll be talking and i'm sure we'll see each other soon fer jaimers birthday. Anywayz i gave her a big hug and that was that. Rich and i talked for a long time after that but (this is why i hate my cell phone) my cell just decided to be mental and just disconnected us. it was too late to call back even if my cell did work so i just left it at that...(plus i'd have to count in mississippis again lol)

So then the next morn we went to LI. Only one difference this time. I drove there. Oh mi it was a lil scary but we made it to my aunts in babylon alright. Of course i messed up coming off of the verrazano bridge and almost went to Queens (i told my mom we could always visit rich if we got really lost...but then was not the time for jokes) but anyways i got out of it fine and we were back on track in no time.

The baby shower was ok. I liked the food and my aunt was surprised. It was boring sometimes but at least i had Rebecca there to talk to. I felt bad cuz i haven't talked to her in a while and i knew she was gonna be mad but it was ok cuz we talked a lot the rest of the day. We went bowling that night and we had fun like usual (we won 4 free bowling passes for doing the cha cha slide in front of everyone...a lil embarrassing but a lot of fun) and then that night we talked before bed and now she knows all about what's going on in my life and the people in it. I like how she really cares about all the things i tell her. I hate when i feel like i'm boring ppl about what is important to me...she really cares about all that stuff and always offers some advice if i need it. Even tho she is my cousin, she is more like a sister to me. Even more than my real sister (who, is trying to come back into my life now, and that is nice, but it's hard to erase all the memories i've had w/ rebecca and all the times she's been the one to offer the sisterly advice. She just understands me better....). So yeah, i'm glad I have Rebecca cuz sometimes she is the ONLY person i can talk to and won't judge me or love me any less for what i've done. *sigh* It's nice. I wish i lived there w/ her still...but hey then i wouldn't have met all my friends down here so at least i can still visit Rebecca- and now when i want now that i can drive myself...which reminds me: going home..

ugh what a disaster. I couldn't even get on to the L.I.E the right way. I did finally get on it but i think it was too late when i did and then we had to go thru this whole ordeal to get to the southern state--which i technically found on my own cuz everyone gave me weird directions but i found a sign by myself :) so yeah i rock. haha well then things were ok for a while...it felt like forever to get to the V. bridge again but we made it. Then we had to go to the outer bridge. And my dad was like DO NOT GO ON THE PERTH AMBOY so i'm like ok...this sign says perth amboy so i'm not gonna take it. Unfortunately he was wrongo and i got lost AGAIN and we had to find our way back to the korean veterans hwy thing. Once again we found it pretty quick but still long enough for me to be kinda stressed out. But then we got to the right one and it was pretty smooth sailing from there. I believe this will be much easier along w/ practice...but i'll take my time before i do it all again (btw that was 4 hours of driving home today and then i went to work when i got home NOT FUN but o well)

So yes. I guess that brings me back here. Oh yeah i was pissed at my cell yesterday cuz it truly wasn't working cuz i would try to make calls and it wouldn't connect to anything. but then at about 10:30 sat. night it worked again so i was happy. I prolly woulda still been driving home from LI right now if it didn't work today.

So this week should be fun but stressful. Now i'll really have to pack and clean my room but i also want to hang out w/ a lot of our friends cuz this is the week we all go. One after the other too..it's really weird. Let me see if i got this straight: meli on wed. dennis on thurs? tyke on fri? jaime saturday, me and anton sunday. I think i mighta got tyke and dennis switched but i don't remember. either way it's sad. i think that on wed. night i am sleeping over kirsli's so long as i can convince my mom it's ok. I am gonna have to work my tail off this week making things look nice for her. Oh well it should be ok. I'm done w/ this now cuz i've written entirely too much and i may be boring a lot of helpless ppl out there :-p

Which John Cusack Are You?

good morning. Dunno why i feel like posting but i do. I had two really good dreams last night so that has put me in a good mood for the day. Jaimers just made me a play a new game. I've heard meli talking about it but i never played it till today. It's called goldminer:

http://www.gamerival.com/index.cfm?game=23E94579

it's fun. play stategy mode tho. i haven't done action i dunno what that's like yet.
So anyways i guess there is not much else to say. Phil be gone...lucky be leaving tomorrow..ah crap why must yas be goin so soon. I notice how all the ppl who are going out of state are leaving this week...conspiracy? i think not. Well i guess i'm gonna go look up what my dreams meant in my moms dream books....oh yeah part of my dream was that all the cocoa krispies were gone (this was a very insignificant part and did NOT make me happy lol)...i think i'm gonna eat some now before it's too late!!

Well once again..I think there is a cricket in my room. Oh well...it can't survive much longer right?

So today was pretty eventful. Lucky came over and we watched SBTB (the tori episodes which are crap) then we went to the bok and i got my paycheck and she picked out a pair of shoes and a hoodie that my mom will buy tomorrow cuz we get 50% off cuz of an employee summer savings thing. Then we went over to the bank and i put some moula in and then off to lunch w/ jaimers and meli. It was a good time and the waiter we had was really nice and took our pics and stuff. Then i went home and i started to clean my room cuz my mom is getting really pissed over it. I'm like yo' back off woman! jk no i try to clean but i wanna spend time w/ my friends before they all scamper off. Viv is gone, phil leaves friday and then lucky on saturday. It's not a good time right now to be stuck in my room.

So then tonight my mom and i raced to babies r us where we tried to find some more things for my aunts shower on saturday. It's so hard to find stuff in there...and bcuz of that i was about an hour late to applebees to eat w/ kirsli and derick. My mom and bob came too and we had an awesome bok outing.

So tomorrow will prolly be busy too. I'll be cleaning and doing stuff w/ erin and tyke for the last time all together in flemington till we all get a break. Ughh it really sucks that lucky is leaving...why must i go a week here w/o her? Not fair. Plus who is gonna drive me to work? haha jk. I'm really really gonna miss her at colegio. She better be callin me at least 2 or 3 times a week. plus weekends will be free on our cells so i'm sure that'll be a weekly ritual to call on one of those days.

So yeah, this week coming up I am gonna have to do something w/ the rest of yas. Meli...wanna go to best buy? hehe Jaimers...campaigners? and prolly something else...we'll go to robert hunter and you can swing on the handicapped swing. And maybe even dennis can come along and i can give him his pillow back. Anton and i have to do some more one on one stuff too cuz i haven't seen him since tuesday. Even tho we'll be at college together it isn't the same as doing stuff here. OH that's right we should go to a movie!

Well anyways that's all right now. Phil u are leaving early in the morn but if you see this goodbye and i hope i never see you again!!! just kidding, of course i want to see you soon. NYC CHRISTMAS 2003 woooohoooo!!! haha u are such a dork but it's ok. we all luv ya anyways. College will be just fine and i'm sure we're all gonna be seeing a lot of each other in the future.

Ok goodnight all you party people.

May today be better than yesterday, but, not as good as tomorrow.

WOW. ok first i must express to you all how long of a day this was. I spent 12 hours at the Flemington fair...i was only sposed to be there til 4 but i stayed all night until 10. I ate sooo much of our watermelon but at least it was really good. I had fun even though we were all bored for a while when no one would buy our watermelon. It's so weird how this site is now fixed around watermelons cuz i just ate, collectively, a whole watermelon today. Then i also ate a lot of funnel cakes cuz no one could ever finish theirs so i'd just eat the rest. Yeah...i'm a moocher like that. I only spent money when me and spooner got our chicken + fries platter for lunch. I also got to talk to Kate P. tonight a lot cuz by the end of the day it was just me, her and mr. c....so yes that was cool.

I wish i had more to say but truly watermelon was my entire day. Anton did bring me to the fair which was very very nice of him. I wanted to go out w/ him and tyke and lucky tonight but when i came home i was dirty and tired so i just couldn't get myself to go.

Oi oh yes...my administrator and i talked tonight too. Very fun conversation...don't you agree? i dunno why i just felt like i was laughing the entire time...i hope you don't hate me forever for being a salesperson lol...i'll just harass you to buy shoes the entire time. :-p

ok i'm really tired...it's starting to sink in even more that i have gotten no rest. Viv leaves tomorrow. I wish i coulda seen her again but i guess i'll just have to talk to her when she gets settled in at hood. man...she's gonna miss so much bloggin! haha jk ok well goodnight....and as john lennon would say...
Now it's time to say good night
Good night, Sleep tight
Now the sun turns out his light
Good night, Sleep tight
Dream sweet dreams for me
Dream sweet dreams for you.....

Oh yes also....

As for right now...yeah i know none of the links work...sry about that

Also, Rich got my package today! He was very excited. It made me feel good to know that I made his day a lil brighter. well hey it was the least i could do i guess. Ok that's it now...i have to go to the 4-H fair tomorrow to sell watermelons and i'm really confused about the whole thing so hopefully spooner calls me sometime soon cuz i dunno whats goin on...

finnnnallly time to post about the last few days. It's been so weird...these last few days zipped from saturday to tuesday in a flash. Never have i seriously considered a tuesday being a sunday multiple times in one day.

So anyways, monday was meant to be a relaxed kinda day. Lucky came over to watch the x-mas episode (the BEST one) of SBTB and then we talked about going to the post office cuz it was time to send the package out...but just as we decided to actually go, my manager calls me asking me to come into work. Well i needs all da monies i can get so i ended up working the rest of the day instead....oh well it was a slow day so i didn't mind too much.

Then we all went to Antons for the grand sleepover. I am so glad he didn't cancel it. I had my doubts about it too, seeing how it would be the first time i was gonna see his family in a while too...but it was ok i guess after a while. I had so much fun all night...being in the pool watching the chicken fights and dennis' famous canopeners...to talking like the chahee ("hellllooo there little ladies") and of course the Dunkin Donuts run at 4 in the mornin. --Phil- you're driving will never cease to impress me...lol...and yes...for once it was NOT time to eat at the time to eat diner. I suppose the world stopped turning at that point...But i am glad we went to dunkin donuts because i got to eat those 3 donuts and it really made me feel like more of a complete person.
***Meli, don't worry, I love your pj's. :)***
Oh yes i also must mention the excursion into the woods...sooo blair witch. Erik scaring us (well, me) after we walked through half of it. And then getting attacked by the thorn bush (which i still hurt from today)
but possibly the best part of the night was pissing everyone off w/ our rendition of early 90's classic theme songs. from step by step to full house and family matters...we sung all the hits. Shoobedo wop ba dahhh.

Today i got to work late cuz no one would let me go home from antons this morning. Just kidding. But i did come home w/ dennis' pillow and i think antons blanket. Damn tyke just takes w/e she wants...oh well. but i left my bathing suit there. I guess there is a lot of swapping to be done.

Well i guess i must finally say it, yes...i'm gonna miss all of you soo much. Even though dennis thinks that my good ideas don't count cuz they are from me, i will still miss even you! Anton i prolly won't miss you cuz you will be with me. I better not miss you at least. I already miss meli cuz i never see her...but hopefully phils NYC thing works out. And plus Jaimers will be w/ meli so it shouldn't be too hard to stay in touch. Phil won't be able to find any other friends so i'm not worried about you just yet (jk i luv ya still) Vivian i'm gonna miss u so much...why must you be so far away? don't worry i will visit you anyways. Like i said, jaimers you will be w/ meli and i'm gonna miss all ur drunken whoish ways everyday so i better be seeing you a lot. And then of course lucky and tyke being away from will be heartbreaking, but tyke will be close and we will drive the chahee down to see her.

I guess what I am trying to say is i will miss you all! but don't worry about who will stay in touch and who won't. We are all so close, if one of us see's each other in 3 years but hasn't spoken a word to them since today, that same chemistry will still be there. too many good times have been spent together to just be washed away during college.

oh well then. i guess the 3 hours of sleep i had are trying to rekindle that magic from this morning. We'll see when that happens now won't we???

Well yestereday was quite a day. I guess i should really start this from saturday night when w/e controvercy this is started.
Saturday:
All day i worked w/ my good friend Kirsli. By the end of the day we were discussing our plans for the night. I said i didn't really have anything to do except i might have dropped by vivs for (what turned out to be) her AZN party. Kirsli said she had nothing to do so i was like, well if you want we can do something. She asked me to go to a movie and i was like sure why not. Then we invited our other coworkers to make it a bok outing. I did wanna visit viv, but i knew i'd be seeing her the next day so i didn't think it was that big of a deal. Anyways...so at 9:45 pirates of the caribean was in the upstairs theater so we're like, awesome! It just happened to be one of the only good movies playing so we picked that one. Anton, i'm sorry i didn't see it w/ you...my dad was mad i saw it w/o him too.
Anton i know you just asked to see a movie last week...but i literally had no money then and i wasn't in the mood either. It just so happened we decided to see a movie on saturday. You know it has nothing against you ever. I still wanna see seabiscuit w/ you, and bruce almighty. I'll even see POTC w/ you if you want cuz i liked the movie. I wish you wouldn't say F me cuz i don't do these things to hurt you. I have been trying to talk to you whenever we are together. I call you too. I don't know what else you are looking for right now...you've been doing things w/o me too. Would you like me to say that the love of your life is now dennis? or erin? or viv? you hang out w/ them a lot lately too but i don't care. You know i'm here still. I'm not forgetting about you either and i don't plan on it. How many times must i say it?
Ugh i'm sorry for writing so much on here about this but i guess everyone see's antons side more than mine lately...
So anton, just so you know- I care for you. I don't like seeing you in this state and i know i caused it. But if we can just break this silence that's inbetween us right now i think we'd both feel a lot better.

Another thing. It's been brought to my attention tonight that a lot of my friends have been very worried about what me, erin and tyke did that night. Look. I'm not stupid. I had full control over what i was doing, and truly none of us needed to drink to have fun that night, and the fun we had didn't really spin off of the small amount that we drank. No one was drunk, no one was hurt, nothing bad was said. The three of us have been best friends since elementary school and we look out for each other. Plus I am glad to know we have friends that care so much as to be worried about us. Thank you for that, but trust me I'm not looking to become an alcoholic, and i have more control over my life then to hand it over to alcohol...especially now that i have become closer to Jesus it's hard to just say..."hey i'm gonna screw that over and become a drunk" no. you should all know me better than that. But once again, i appreciate the concern, just don't get mad at me for something as small as what happened that night. No one needs to respond to this. I've already heard that you just can't help but see it as a stupid idea, but i can't change what we did that night to make you happy. Just know that I understand, but hopefully you guys can understand me (and us) a little too.

So what else now. Dennis, Viv and I went to liquid tonight. It was a little strange...i guess the "THANKYOU JESUS!!!" man added to that (well caused haha) but i'd go back i spose. I guess i have to see Pastor Tim that everyone tells me is so great :) But i got the newcomers bag which was cool...cept i was in a room of canadians which was weird...dunno why. I think they were there cuz of the power outages, then the lady was like, "so i guess you had another reason to come down this way" and they go "no! just liquid!!" I think they were kidding, but they never gave a real reason so w/e.

so anyways. Tomorrow is the two part episode of the christmas saved by the bell. I can't wait- it's so pathetic. Then we all go to antons for the sleepover/goodbye party. It'll be sad cuz i might not be seein viv after the party is over.
btw...

Viv- I am going to miss you mucho!!! Ever since frosh year at ur fridays b-day party we've been pretty good friends. This year/summer has been really good to us and I'm gonna miss chattin w/ ya. I will miss ur confused face, your brownie cookies, and your all around good-heartedness. I know you really aren't looking fwd to college, but I hope we stay in contact so you can keep me in line and help each other throughout the good and bad times. Even tho if you ever run the mile again i won't be there to pull you physically...but if you think of the mile as LIFE i can help "pull" you through that. Ooooh metaphoric...ya like that doncha? haha don't worry cuz things will be ok...cuz- u know u can (u know u can) be what chu wanna be (be what chu wanna be) if u work hard at it (if u work hard at it) u'll be where ya wanna be (u'll be where ya wanna be) :-p haha i luv ya, KIT as often as possible!!!

Ok well i think i just wrote a book there...i guess that's what happens when you wait two days to write. I just wanna say that i'm sorry to anyone i've offended w/o knowing these last few days. I don't know how or why exactly i did but i guess ppl are upset w/ how i deal w/ things. So...sorry, please forgive me for whatever i've done to you. If you want to talk to me you know you can always call me or email me and i will talk about whatever is bothering you.

Oh yeah, Phil, welcome to the blogger. You will be addicted quite soon. At least we can be reminded about going to NY for Christmas break cuz i know ur so excited. To tell the truth, I am too. I think it'll be fun.

Aight...that should be all fer now...as viv just told me :
vsace27: but seriously.. why are my blogs so ridiculously long? it's like i don't control how much i write
exactly. so then i guess it's time to

Heeeellooooo. Ok so today (yesterday now) was erin and antons bday. Yay for them for hitting the 18 mark.

Today was pretty fun. Got to work w/ kirsli for the first day of the "triple threat" weekend (we work together the whole weekend) and the time went by pretty fast cuz we were talking a lot and thinking about what we would get from the friends and fam catalog (i want that cheesecake for 5,000 pts!!!!! j/k) Then later I went to thee ice cream parlor to see the birthday kids and dennis. Then meli and phil came, and eventually tyke as well. We were all having a lot of fun even though anton seemed kinda quiet...? oh well...anyways then me, lucky and tyke went to applebees where we saw Randy and his two friends. Plus the waiter that i think looked like keanu reeves, but lucky thinks he looks like some guy from a movie where they are in a record store. Does anyone know what she's talking about? Not High fidelity and not Empire Records. So that narrows it down to nothing. but anyways....

I missed a call tonight...very upsetting.

ok so besides the things that bother me, nothing is bothering me! No actually not a lot is bothering me right now. I just want to have as much fun as i can until school starts and i start this totally different lifestyle.

...It's so funny how life burns out fast it's just another wasted day a boring life in a boring town...

not that this town is boring. Well it is, but the ppl in it make it not boring. Like tonight...sitting in the parking lot of applebees and yelling "HOLLA" to the keanu waitor and the police officer (ok I did not yell it to the cop, that was lucky's bright idea...damn you turn one year older and u think you can do anything...) Anyways that was a lot of fun cuz it was just stupid stuff.

well i guess that's all for now. I gotta get up for work tomorrow so i guess i should try to get some sleep.

Just feel like postin a lil bit now...i was gonna wait till tomorrow but whatever

well i must admit my day was pretty uneventful cuz i was just cleaning and w/e till around 4:00 when all this mayhem in NY started. I think it is sooo weird. My comp and radio shut off for like a second but then i was fine (even tho i had to abuse my stereo so i could get my cd's out...eventually having to just unplug it and plug it again).

I just hope that NY is ok soon cuz i have a package to send there and i don't plan on having it lost!!!!
I talked to Devon from ramapo today, we are both really excited for college, and it's good to have someone to be very excited w/. I also talked to Jay R. today and he told me how the guard (as usual) is not doing too well. SO much drama and it's only the first week. Oh well. Like i said, i am glad not to be there. I love it sometimes but there are parts of it I really hate and it sounds like i wouldn't be liking it right now. But hey, i plan on coming to the home competiton..(wow i just wondered what it will be like to be at a competition and be warm..)

ok well i'm gonna go back to reading The Case for Christ cuz it's really good so far and i wanna read a few more chapters before goin to bed.

Good Morning...ok well it's still night to me but w/e. This of course is gonna come up under the 14th, but i still am in that 13th mood.

Anyways, today wasn't too bad. What had the potential to be a boring day of cleaning and washing clothes turned into a day at the mall and target w/ Kirsli and her friend Jessica. She picked me up around 2:30 and we headed off to the P'burg mall...It sucked not having any money, but i survived it. I do owe kirlsi 5 bucks tho for a pretzle and the socks she bought me tho... oh well. Target was cool too...I'm gonna hafta go back there for college stuff cuz they have some cool stuff there.
Oh yes I also got to discover some new bands like Jersey, who i really like now and explosion who aren't too bad either. I also really wanna get the suicide machines cd. I have sooo many cd's i need to get it's ridiculous. I always seem to want things after my birthday.

Tonight i went to campaigners and it was nice to be there again. Mr. P gave me The Case For Christ which i plan to read....maybe tomorrow? I really need to spend tomorrow indoors so i can wash my clothes and clean my room cuz it's getting really bad in here. So maybe w/ that time i can read the book too. Sounds like it is really interesting too so i am looking fwd to it. Me and Viv stayed at the Phillips house until like 10:00 cuz we were looking at the pics and I was talking to Mr. P about stuff in my life which was cool to do.

Then i got home and talked to my administrator (....don't ask ppl...just accept it) It was fun. I always enjoy the talks we have so actually being on the phone w/o delay was much better...just like "old" times haha. Too bad my phone fear was "perpetuated"...haha, but i think i can get over it. ;-)

Ah yes, and then i called anton cuz he had asked me if i wanted to do something but i was gone anyway so i couldn't. But i thought the least i could do was call him, and we had a pretty good conversation just about things and yadda yadda yadda...haha. Once again, i am glad things are working out cuz i don't think i woulda been able to live if he wasn't my friend at all.

So sorry this is prolly boring. I just live life day to day and this is what happens. :)
OH right now i'm actually making time to listen to the new Ataris CD. This is cool cuz at the end are bonus tracks and #14 is a track from "Blue Skies, Broken hearts...Next 12 Exits" Which btw is a great album and i suggest everyone get it.

Oh yes. Soon i should be having a new template...too bad i'm no good at this stuff. but i got friends so don't you worry. My blog will be better than ever!!!!!!!!

***download: Jersey: "right to know" and Ataris: "i won't spend another night alone"

I've realized how I only feel like writing in this when I'm mucho bored or mucho angry. Right now I'm bored so here I am...
Today was a good day i spose. I felt better cuz of anton and mine's convo the other night. Tyke me and lucky got bagels at the bagel club this moring and then came back here to watch some good ol' saved by the bell. That was all good except i was quite mad to see that I missed talking to my administrator when I came home. booo.

So then we all watched some more tv until I had to go to work and tyke dropped me off...LaRis had a fun time making fun of me but i don't care...it is quite funny. ;-)

Let's see so how did i end my mediocre day? Oh yes I got some milk and went to Gslam to give anton the candles his mom ordered and got some tupperware (which crap i just remembered is still in my dads car) from erin that she took the cake home in last night.

Ok i have shatterday in my head and it won't leave. And at work today I had the "Fuck her gently" in my head which was not a good time to be in my head when i had a lot of bitchy ppl coming in today. I was in the mood to curse a lot of ppl off but i would never do that so i just sang Tenecious D in my head instead...it worked i guess.

Oh yes...I must talk about the moon and how i love it soo much. I always seem to be driving home when I see the moon at it's finest. A few nights ago I saw it and it was shining through this little spot of clouds and it was one of the most beautiful sites ever. Then tonight it was all red and stuff and I love when the moon is red...it just pleases me a lot and I don't know why. I think being a cancer makes me enjoy the moon a lot more than i already do because I feel like part of me is controlled by it. I don't know exactly how (i am not a wolf girl tho mor-on :-p) but seeing how it's my signs celestial body, I feel closer to it...like how i like the water a lot. I'm not that obsessed w/ horoscopes and stuff but I think a lot of it is true when involving nature and stuff like that.

haha viv i am like you cuz i just scratched a bug bite too hard and it's bleeding a little...grooooosssss

well i'm ridin too low in my chell so i'm gettin outta here. (that makes sense to 2 ppl so don't worry about it)

warped tour
The whole thing was pretty awesome. I liked more of the bands last year but i still had fun. I met the midtown kid who broke his thumb and Jeremy who likes the kinda music i do as well. I also got LTJ to sign some stuff and Yellowcard as well (yes I'm sorry I had to cut both lines to get this done but hey you would do it too). Bands that I heard and liked: LTJ, Yellowcard, Avoid one thing, suicide machines, rancid, dropkick murpheys. We also saw Vendetta red but they were a total waste, which sucked but oh well.

the "of-the-night" awards

Song of the night:
Tenacious D "Fuck her Gently"

insult of the night:
Larry: "Let's go bitch! You fucking Fuck!!!"

Quote of the night:
Kirsli: "Fuck....my....ass."

....So anyways off of that topic I'd just like to say that me and anton talked about things. Things are better now...not the best but getting there. Yes we are not a couple anymore but we plan on being great friends so there's no need to worry about it anymore. Sorry for making anyone upset or mad. But like i said i dun't wanna talk about that stuff anymore so let it be...

Lucky and I finished braveheart today... (that's all)

I guess everyone wants to hear a response from me cuz they are so involved in anton and mine's situation...
well the thing is i don't have to respond. I told you what I felt before. I told you what happened. If I am asking for your help then ok, but I'm not. I am doing fine and once anton and I get a chance we will talk things out ourselves. I've been busy a lot so Anton I'm sorry for that. In some ways I guess it's better so we can calm down, but anyways i plan on visiting him tonight. So that'll all happen.

Anyways...i'm not talking about this anymore cuz it's just a bunch of stupid gossip and I don't see why anyone but me and Anton should be writing about it. As far as I am concerned the group is not split up...everyone seems to be making it into a bigger deal than it is. Of course there is a lot of hurt on BOTH sides and no one can tell me that I don't care cuz you're not me are you?

So off of that topic. Warped tour was mucho fun and I met a lot of cool new people and the bands there were cool and I almost got killed 4 times but it's ok cuz I'm alive now. I will talk about it more later but right now I must finish braveheart w/ lucky.

Guess I'm gonna update this now...(btw it's still Aug 9th in my head even tho the day is turning into the 10th)
Last night I had so much fun w/ lucky and tyke. Sure we were all about to pass out by 12:00 but the times were still good. I liked how lucky was a bitch and gave me more then everyone every time. Thanks mama. But hey, as tyke said it was inevitable that we were all to get drunk (well buzzed) together one day. the night went by so fast...oh well i had fun and it was really great to be w/ them cuz we have barely done anything as a trio this summer. DDR + braveheart on monday! Oh yeah, the massive scottish accents we're great. "Aghhh...but i wenna goooohh" "I've ulways looved yah, ulways huve, ulways weell" Haha good stuff.

So today was Dennis'' birthday (the 9th). happy bday to him! The place we went to was cool..and Jaimers was right- it is messy and they do give you a roll of paper towels on ur table. It was good to see meli again cuz i hardly saw her this summer. I decided what it is i love about all the girls in the crew (newly dubbed "the rat pack" by me and lucky) Viv has her classic confused face, Jaime does that open mouth thing when she doesn't know what to say...making her look drunk but soo funny, Meli just says everything in the funniest way..."i was like shuuutup!" "it's his birfday!:)" and just about everything that comes out of her mouth is lovable. Yes, i make fun of it, but it really is great. :) Then of course Lucky is always there to look out for me. Sure she likes to fill a shot glass to the brim, but in any other case i can look to her for a laugh or a comforting thought. It sucks that of all the girls she will be the most furthest from me but i don't think distance can really break a friendship like ours...it's just always been me and her and i think it always will be.

Aw I'm so sweet I can't stand myself. Anyways life in general is pretty good. Praying everynight about this whole situation has really set my mind at peace and I praise God and Jesus for giving me that opportunity. I just hope that they can do the same for other people. If not, time will have it's way. I love all my friends...I hate it when we can't see eye to eye like this. Sides i think are beginning to form and i just wish there was some honosty in all this and that we don't have to use this thing to talk about each other behind our backs. It's not like we're not gonna read it....yeah even i'm guilty of it too but i'm not gonna continue it. I'd really like to use this so the pack can stay involved in each others lives while we're at college. I don't want it to break us up.

anyways just a reminder about what we huddled about tonight girls, I wanna have a sleepover for just us before we leave...lets set a date and a house as soon as possible so we can get this thing ready!

Another night of no sleep. Yummay. Lukily for me Lucky has been an insomniac lately too :).

So what happened tonight. I explained to Anton my situation again...and again and again etc. It's starting to give me a headache. Well it has always given me one..but i've been doin so much talkin it makes me sick. I am stuck in an episode of freakin Passions and it's making me want to vomit. I'm not on here to blame or whatever but sometimes i wish he could think about what he says before he does. It's like he doesn't even know me...to think that he doesn't think I love him at all or that i would sleep w/ someone the first chance i get is just retarted.

Anyways work was fun actually. I got to work w/ Mark instead of Starr which i'd take any day and LaRis and i got to talk which we rarely do when a lot of ppl are workin.
Ughh..
I just remembered the comment that i learned that Kirsli told me my mom said...*warning this is extremely gross to think about*
My mom to Pam and Kirsli at work one day: "Maaan, if i was you're guys'es age i would definitely be doin Mark"
That's disgusting. I love my mom...but ok please don't ever say that again. I think i woulda puked if i was there that day.

Annnnyways....off of that topic. I think my life is getting back on track a lil. Ok not as much but enough. Ever since I got back from camp I haven't been able to eat right or sleep right. Maybe it was cuz of staying up all night on the bus screwed up w/e internal clock i have but finally today i ate when i was supposed to. My stomach was in knots but they are starting to come undone slowly but surely. Sleep is a whole other issue tho...thats like i just don't care...last night i was good tho cuz i couldn't keep my eyes open much past one so i went to bed then. But now it's 10 to 1 and i feel fine. Oh well we'll see what happens.

I still really miss camp and everyone there. But soon college and things will be well...right?

***sorry phil****

erin is still trying to put this blog thing together for herself...We had a conversation about canadians that brought back memories of pe-ta:
Tennlace187: k. right now i'm emailing natasha aboot michelle.
pnuttycup85: haha. aboot. Oh canadian.
pnuttycup85: I hope i meet some canadians in college so i can make fun of them
tennlace187: yeah seriously
tennlace187: i miss *** guy.
pnuttycup85: haha
pnuttycup85: he's gone away
tennlace187: :-(
tennlace187: atleast i got to know him.
pnuttycup85: tru
pnuttycup85: not soon enough tho to stop callin him *** guy

I really do hope to become friends w/ a canadian that doesn't mind being made fun of. Aboot. haha it's great stuff.

So i guess I'm wasting time now by just writing pointless crap. muhuhahaha.

I love music so much right now. It's all i do besides kill time on the internet. Warped tour on Sunday where i plan to listen to as many new bands as possible but making sure to see the ataris, less than jake and vendetta red. Actually I know a lot more but i don't feel like listing.

I guess I'll stop now cuz I'm just rambling...but I have a habit of that so you shoulda expected that.

ok i figured some stuff out now about this. I have to go to work today but don't really want to cuz there is no one there i really like to see...Actually I think LaRis is closing tonight so we should get out on time.

Last night was crazy. I hope Anton isn't having a really horrible day...It seems like he's being selfish (even tho i kno he prolly thinks i am too)... I told him a thousand times this is to help us, but I don't think he see's it like that. If he doesn't then this break will do nothing to help. I'm glad all of our friends are willing to talk w/ us about it but I don't want to burn anyone out over it. Oh well we'll just have to wait and see what happens. Hopefully things will be ok in the end. He's such a good friend I'd hate to lose that most of all.

Well i think i have 15 min to dry my hair and eat lunch. HA. i will be late today.

Ok...i have no idea what i'm doing so i'm just writing to test things out. Sorry this is boring...haha Anyways maybe this will be fun...;-)